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A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost
He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below
He descended a bit more and shouted,''Excuse me,can you help me?.
I promised a friend i would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am"

The woman below replied.''You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground.You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitiude and between 59 and 60 degrees west latitude''

''You must be an engineer'',said the balloonist
''I am '' the woman replied.How did you know?
''Well'' answered the balloonist,''everything you told me is, techincally correct, but I have no idea of what to make of your information,and the fact is I am still lost.

Frankly,you've not been much help so far''
The woman below responded,''You must be in management''
''I am '' the balloonist replied.''but How did you know?''

''Well'' said the woman,you don't know where you are or where you are going.You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep,and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.

The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met,but now you make me feel that some how it's my fault''



Moral:  Engineers make no sense and Managers make no friends
eveshine: (Default)
Many years ago in a small Chinese village, a villager had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to the local moneylender. The moneylender , who was old and ugly, fancied the villager’s beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the villager’s debt if he could marry his daughter. Both the poor villager and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal.

So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let luck decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black stone and a white stone into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one stone from the bag.

1) If she picked the black stone, she would become his wife and her father’s debt would be forgiven.

2) If she picked the white stone she need not marry him and her father’s debt would still be forgiven.

3) But if she refused to pick a stone, her father would be thrown into jail.

They were standing in a place which was full of black and white stones. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two stones. As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black stones and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a stone from the bag.
eveshine: (Default)
Once a young boy saw a cocoon of a butterfly with a very small opening. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the small opening.

Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. Then the boy decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily.

But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The boy continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened!
In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.

It was never able to fly.

What the boy in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Moral: Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we don’t go through any difficulties in our life we would be crippled . We would not be as strong as what we could have been.

And we could never fly.


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                                                                  A small story
When I was a kid, my mom would prepare special breakfast every now and then. And I remember one night in particular, after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad.

I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I’ll never forget what he said: Honey, I love burned biscuits.
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned.
He wrapped me in his arms and said, Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she’s real tired. And besides – a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone! You know, life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I’m not the best at hardly anything, and I make so many mistakes forget to congratulate people on their special occasions.

What I’ve learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults – and choosing to celebrate each others differences – is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

Moral:

And that’s my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life but always have trust in God. Because in the end, He’s the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn’t a deal-breaker!
We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!
Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket – keep it in your own.

So Please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burnt one will do just fine.!.!.!.!


eveshine: (Default)
Once an old Master was travelling with his student, and they passed by a small lake. The Master was feeling thirsty so he told his Student to get some water from the lake.

The student walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that right at that moment, a herd of cattle had just crossed through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy.

The student thought, “How can I give this muddy water to my Master to drink!”

So he came back and told his Master, “The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.”
After about half an hour, again the Master asked his student to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The student obediently went back to the lake.

This time too he found that the lake was muddy. He returned and informed the Master about the same.

After sometime, again the Master asked his student to go back. The student reached the lake to find the lake absolutely clean and clear with pure water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit for drinking. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to his Master.

The Master looked at the water and then he looked up at the disciple and said, “See what you did to make the water clean. You waited long and the mud settled down on its own and you got clear water. Your mind is also like that! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless”.

Moral: Whenever you are angry, just give your self some time. You will gradually calm down, and then you will be able to take the right decisions.


eveshine: (Default)
Oh I am busy and tired these days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building !!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs,love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous,help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please! Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Does this story have any moral??????

eveshine: (Default)
One day a young lady was driving along with her father.
They came upon a storm, and the young lady asked her father,
What should I do?”
He said “keep driving”. Cars began to pull over to the side, the storm was getting worse.
“What should I do.” The young lady asked?
“Keep driving,” her father replied.
On up a few feet, she noticed that eighteen wheelers were also pulling over.
She told her dad, “I must pull over, I can barely see ahead.
It is Terrible, and everyone is pulling over!”
Her father told her, “Don’t give up, just keep driving!”
Now the storm was terrible, but she never stopped driving, and soon she could see a little more clearly.
After a couple of miles she was again on Dry land, and the sun came out.
Her father said, “Now you can pull over and get out.” She said “But why now?”
He said “When you get out, look back at all the people that gave up and are still in the storm, because you never gave up your storm is now over.

Lesson:
      This is a testimony for anyone who is going through “hard times”. Just because everyone else, even the strongest, gives up,you don’t have to. If you keep going, soon your storm will be over and the sun will shine upon your face again!
eveshine: (Default)
One day, a very learned man, while travelling in a poor country, decided to go across big river, so he asked one of the village people who owned a small boat, if he would take him, to this request the boatman agreed.

As they started, the sun became obscured by dark clouds, and as the river was large, the gentleman realised that the crossing would take some time. So he started a conversation with the boatman.

“Did you know that the sun is approximately 93,000,000miles away, and yet it has provided heat and light, throughout the universe since time immemorial, baring that, if it was to shift, even a fraction of an inch out of its orbit, there would be total devastation?”

The boatman replied; “My dear sir, I am just a simple man who has had no education, there is no way I could know such information”

“Then” said the gentleman “You are 25% fool”.

Some time passed, and as they were coming to the ½ way mark, the thunder began to rumble.

“Did you know notice the lightening, just before the rumbling sound”. The gentleman asked. He continued. “Do you know how that phenomenon occurs”

“No sir” replied the boatman.

“Its occurrence is due to the expansion of rapidly heated air,” the gentleman exclaimed, “ You are 50% fool.

About ¾ of the way the weather completely changed. It became dark and started to rain heavily and started filling up the little boat with water clearly making it difficult for the boatman. But the foolish gentleman insisted in questioning.

“Do you know how we get rain”,

“No sir,” was the reply.”

“ The sun evaporates water from the sea, this gets stored in the clouds which then travel by be wind power, then when they become full, it lets all the water go, over the land. That’s how we get rain.”

“You are 75% fool.” Said the gentleman, now feeling very smug.

The gentleman was suddenly interrupted from his basqueing by a loud cry from the boatman, “Oh no! I have lost my oar and now the water is about capsize the boat, we have no alternative but to swim the remainder of the way, luckily for us it is not very far.”

“But I can’t swim,” cried the gentleman now seeing his own imminent death.

“Then my dear sir, you are 100% fool” said the boatman.


Jokes

Jan. 11th, 2012 12:09 pm
eveshine: (Default)
Husband on Death

From his death bed, the husband told to his wife and said, “One month after I die, I want you to marry Jack.”

“Jack! But he is your enemy!”

“Yes, I know that. I’ve suffered all these years; so let him suffer now.”

The Wedding ring

At a friends party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? ”

The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”


Q: What is the difference between a man who is buying a lottery ticket and a man who is arguing with his wife?

A: Lottery ticket buyer has still some chances to win!!


Grandson: What is the secret of happy and satisfied married life?
Grandfather: My dear, It is still a secret!


Engineer: Please drag folder to the right of the screen..

Funny client: Sir, your right or mine?


A man was removing two wheels from his car.

A girl asked him: what are you doing??

Man: Can’t you see the board, “Parking for two wheelers only”!!!


Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies, “Take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, “OK, now what?”




eveshine: (Default)
Once there was a man in who used to beat his wife for small mistakes. One day for a pretty mistake he bet her so much that she succumbed to his beatings, even though he had not intended to kill her.

But when she was dead he became fearful of her relatives. In a state of anxiety he came out of his house and met an acquaintance to whom he posed his problem.

The friend told him to invite a young man to his house and behead him and put the severed head next to the wife’s corpse. Then he would tell the wife’s relatives that he had found them together in bed and was unable to control his anger. And slew them both.

The man liked the idea and sat at the doorway in anticipation of a young man.
After sometime a handsome youth passed by his house. He invited him inside and beheaded him.

Then he summoned the wife’s relatives and told them the fictitious story and convinced them.

But the person who had devised this plan had a teenage son who did not reach home that day. The man was worried and when the son failed to turn up, he came to the house of the one whom he had offered evil advice and asked him if he carried out the plan suggested by him. Yes, said the man and took him near the dead bodies. He was shocked when he saw that the youth he had killed was his own son.

His evil advice caused the death of his own son!!

Moral: The one who digs a pit for others falls into it himself.


eveshine: (Default)

To all my friends Anna,jamie,Mae,Therry,Misa sis,Juu sis,Aisha Sis,Poh,Yuki,Shiela sis,Nada san,Mita san,Kei chan,Rie sis.Thanks for being kind to me last year .Please take care  of me this year too
eveshine: (Default)
eveshine: (Default)

A lecturer came to his class and surprised his students by bringing a Cup of Coffee.

He held it up for all to see & asked the students “What do you think is the weight of this Cup?”

’50gms!’ …. ’100gms!’ …..’125gms’ the students answered.

“Frankly speaking I haven’t yet weighed it” said the lecturer, “but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?”

‘Nothing’ …..the students said.

‘Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?’ the lecturer asked.

‘Your arm would begin to ache’ said one of the student “You’re right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?”

“Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!” ventured another student & all the students laughed “Very good.

But during all this, did the weight of the Cup change?” asked the lecturer.

‘No‘…. Was the answer.

“Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?”

The students were puzzled.

“What should I do now to come out of pain?” asked the lecturer again.

“Put the cup down!” said one of the students

“Exactly!” said the lecturer.

Life’s problems are something like this.

Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK.

Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache.

Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.

Moral: Everyday we face so many problems in life that if we hold each and everyone of them, our life will be paralyzed. Its important to think about the solutions to the problems but also important to keep it down before we sleep so that we can start fresh the next day.




eveshine: (Default)

Story A
A young boy went for a Job interview.
As he was waiting outside for interview, he picked up a waste paper from the floor and threw it into a dustbin, while all others who has come where watching.By chance the interviewer was passing by and saw it. and the Boy got the job.
Moral of the story:
People are valued for their character and habits

Story B
A man was working in a bicycle shop.
A cycle had come for repair and after repairing the man cleaned up the bicycle and it looked like a new one.
All Other workers were making fun of him for doing redundant work.
Next day when owner came for the bicycle, he was very happy and offered the mechanic a job.
Moral of the story :
Good and extra work never goes useless.






eveshine: (Default)

Lawyer & The Witness


At the height of a big corruption trial, the prosecuting lawyer attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted 10,000 Dinars to compromise this case?”

The witness stared out the window as though he hadn’t hear the question.

“Isn’t it true that you accepted 10,000 dinars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated.

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, “Sir, please answer the question.”

“Oh,” the startled witness said, “I thought he was talking to you.”

Judge & Witness

The Judge warned the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?”

“I do.”

“Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?”

“Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.”



eveshine: (Default)
After 1 month of busy due to exam.Now I am free.So happy
So I decided to update my LJ this time with jokes rather than stories.

Husband: Doctor my wife thinks she’s a dish antenna.

Doctor: Its a psychiatric problem, but I can cure her.

Husband: No doctor, don’t cure her, just tell me how do I adjust it to my favorite channel.



Nurse: Doctor, the man you’ve just treated died on the entrance of our clinic ?

Doctor: Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!


Tom goes to office with both of his ears bandaged up. His Manager ask, “What happened to your ears?”

Tom replies, “Yesterday I was ironing my clothes when my mobile rang, and I accidentally answered the iron.”

Manager says, “Well, that explains about one ear, but what happened to your other ear?”

He says, “Well, I had to call the doctor!”

Tutor: Did your mother help your with your assignment?
Student: No, she did it all by herself

Teacher: How can you distribute 5 Oranges among 7 people equally?

Student : Squeeze them, make a Juice and divide equally between them.


Little Reema was taken to a dentist, for her regular checkup. The Dentist told her parents that a cavity had been developed, and it had to be filled.

The dentist asked Reema “what type of filling do you prefer for your tooth”

“Candy, please,” replied the young girl.



Whenever I go to a Hospital, they give an appointment with the Doctor after 1 month.

And when finally I meet him, he says, ” Why didn’t you come to me earlier








eveshine: (Default)

There once was a young boy who was mischevious and had a a very short temper. All efforts by his parents to change his bad behaviour were in vain. When just words were not enough his father though of a practical solution. He gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he got angry, he must hammer a nail into the fence of his house.


The first day the boy had driven 29 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks as he learned to control his anger and the number of nails hammered gradually went down.

He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when he didn’t lose his temper. He told his father and his father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his anger. The days passed and the boy told his father that all the nails were gone.


The father took the boy by the hand and led him to the fence. He said look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same, when you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like the ones on the fence.You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I am sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Moral: Actions done when angry can have irreparable damage. Words spoken when in anger can break relations and no matter how much you appolgize or regret, the relation will never be the same.



eveshine: (Default)
A policeman was testing 3 brothers who were training to become detectives.

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first brother a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The first brother answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!” The policeman says, “Well…uh… that’s because the picture I showed is his side profile.”

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second brother and asks him, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The second brother smiles and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!” The policeman angrily responds,

“What’s the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it’s a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third brother and in a very hasty voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?

He quickly adds, “Think hard before giving me a stupid answer.” The brother looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “The suspect wears contact lenses.” The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that’s an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.” He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

“Wow! I can’t believe it. It’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”

“That’s easy,” the third brother replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.”



eveshine: (Default)

A woman baked bread for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She kept the extra bread on the window sill, for whosoever would take it away. Every day, a hunchback came and took away the bread. Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as he went his way: “The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” This went on, day after day. Every day, the hunchback came, picked up the bread and uttered the words: “The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!”  The woman felt irritated. “Not a word of gratitude,” she said to herself. 

“Everyday this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean?”  One day, exasperated, she decided to do away with him. “I shall get rid of this hunchback,” she said. And what did she do? She added poison to the bread she prepared for him! As she was about to keep it on the window sill, her hands trembled. “What is this I am doing?” she said.  Immediately, she threw the bread into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window sill.

As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the bread and muttered the words: “The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman. 

Every day, as the woman placed the bread on the window sill, she offered a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For many months, she had no news of him. She prayed for his safe return. That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway.  He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak.

As he saw his mother, he said, “Mom, it’s a miracle I’m here. While I was but a mile away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then an old hunchback passed by. I begged of him for a morsel of food, and he was kind enough to give me a whole bread. As he gave it to me, he said, “This is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!” ” As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale.

She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned bread that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life! It was then that she realized the significance of the words: ”The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!”

 Moral:

Do good and Don’t ever stop doing good, even if it is not appreciated at that time. Because some day or the other, if not in this world but surely in the Hereafter you are going to get compensated for your actions in this world.

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